Friday, November 29, 2013

Good, Better, Best...In Work and Relationships, the Similarities

I like you are most likely involved in some type of observation plan. I like you find it tedious and hard work. I like you get hung up on jargon and I like you initially wondered why we really all have to do this in the first place, I confess.

It takes time for the pieces of the puzzle to fit and I look desperately around me for how they are supposed to by making connections to what I already know and tag this to it. So, as I was sitting in a great and helpful meeting about iObservation (based on the Marazano Framework) the most interesting thoughts came to mind which made me smile. Working hard at our job, especially as an education professional is VERY similar to working hard on being married.

If you are reading this, you are most likely married. My guess is that if you have been married more than 7 years...or more than 14 years or if you are like my parents and inching to the 50 year mark, you intentionally spend time cultivating habits that create a strong, healthy and thriving marriage. Without doing so your marriage will die. Also, it is important that two people are together working on themselves individually as well as working on the combination of themselves that make a marriage. A strong healthy self will bring the best of themselves to the marriage. One person cannot carry a marriage to make it strong. When that is done, a great divide happens and the ramifications of that divide create a survival mode..not a thriving mode..and sometimes, surviving only lasts for a little bit.

If you are reading this, you are most likely in the same field as I am, education. I find that this process of iObservation or using a framework of some kind for teacher evaluations important. It is vital to reflect on, or take a pulse of yourself in your profession. I ask the students to do it in the classroom and it is only fair that I do so myself. When I stop and think about how am I doing and try to be honest, I am setting myself up for greater successes long term. I am able to create new goals and make a plan to achieve them. A goal with no plan is just a wish and that won't get you far. Why should I not critique myself? Why should I not be critiqued by others as well as my boss?

So I looked up some lists and organized them below...of what makes a successful marriage and what makes a successful teacher. You will smile at the similarities and hopefully find yourself in them.

But be honest. Okay, I will. I am NOT perfect nor do I pretend to be..or want to be..because that is not a growth mindset. I know where I fail...and it is okay with me when others in kindness to help me grow as a teacher do too. So I can approach this list and think..where do I need to grow?

Mark Goulston, M.D. Ten Habits of Happy Couples. 

25 Things Successful Teachers Do Differently by the  Teach Thought Staff.

So briefly, here are some similarities between the two articles that can make your work as a professional educator OR as a person in a marriage or significant relationships moving forward reach the ROCK STAR level, and remember, it is a JOURNEY not a DESTINATION!
www.cobrinhabjj.com 


  • Keep it all interesting in your profession / relationship.
  • Walk side by side..not in front of not behind...stay together! Leave no one behind!
  • Make trust and forgiveness focus on the positive.

  • Greet each other in kindness as well as bring positive closure to conversation.
  • Take a pulse of your relationships...do you need to tune things up? Don't be a zombie!!! 
  • Honor and respect one another.
    www.123rf.com

  • Have clear objectives...what are your goals for your professional situation / relationship?
  • Have a sense of purpose. Post a mission statement for yourself / relationship. 
  • Learning, relationships, and education are a messy... much like planting. It takes time, and some dirt, to grow. (This is why my blog has the title it does.)
affirmyourlife.blogspot.com

  • Have a positive attitude! That changes everything every where you go and with each life you touch. 
  • Expect success!
  • Have fun together and laughter is so good for work / relationships!!! 

family.wikinut.com 
  • Be a risk taker. Do you need to step out of the box in your profession /relationship? Do it. Be Brave! Break out of the box! 
  • Reflect on your profession / relationship...adjust the sails. 
  • Seek out mentors for your profession on your own as well as mentors for your relationship. Spend time gleaning information and help along the way. It is important! Never stop learning! 

  • Adapt and welcome change in your profession / relationship and explore new avenues to take together!
  • Be a student of your students as well as a student of your spouse or significant other. There is always something to learn! Always.


In closing, status quo does not work. It won't get you anywhere you want to be not in your profession and not in your relationships. So, that is why I don't fret or balk at the process that we are now doing at work...in fact, with a growth mindset, it is rather interesting and fun and I am learning a great deal about myself!!! 

Relationships/ MarriageRelationships/ Work
Mark Goulston, M.D. ~Ten Habits of Happy Couples.  Teach Thought Staff ~25 Things Successful Teachers Do Differently 
1. Go to bed at the same time1. Successful teachers have clear objectives21. Successful teachers bring fun into the classroom
11. Successful teachers are reflective
2. Cultivate common interests2. Successful teachers have a sense of purpose22. Successful teachers teach holistically
12. Successful teachers seek out mentors of their own
3. Walk hand in hand or side by side3. Successful teachers are able to live without immediate feedback23. Successful teachers never stop learning
13. Successful teachers communicate with parents
4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode4. Successful teachers know when to listen to students and when to ignore them24. Successful teachers break out of the box
14. Successful teachers enjoy their work
5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong5. Successful teachers have a positive attitude25. Successful teachers are masters of their subject
15. Successful teachers adapt to student needs
6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work6. Successful teachers expect their students to succeed
16. Successful teachers welcome change in the classroom
7. Say "I love you" and "Have a good day" every morning7. Successful teachers have a sense of humor
17. Successful teachers take time to explore new tools
8. Say "Good night" every night, regardless of how you feel8. Successful teachers use praise smartly
18. Successful teachers give their students emotional support
9. Do a "weather" check during the day9. Successful teachers know how to take risks
19. Successful teachers are comfortable with the unknown
10. Be proud to be seen with your partner10. Successful teachers are consistent
20. Successful teachers are not threatened by parent advocacy